The King Left and The Kiss-Off are playing tonight along with Howlies and A Million Years (who need a lead guitarist).

AHHH.  No.  Only I’m allowed to play her. Or Debbie Harry (supposedly Kirsten Dunst is being tapped for that one?!) or Stevie Nicks.

Thank you.

Update.  I’m in an a cappella trio.  My *proper* band is working on getting rough demos done for a couple songs and then I’ll give you the myspace link and you can show off about how you know me and have had a window into my psyche for years.

Still need cute boys to make out with.  Can you work on that for me?  ’Cus I’ve kind of given up and have taken up baking, and um, reading things like entire books.  K, thanks.

Lillie, drinks soon?  My birthday is coming up.  I’m planning a drunken brunch, wanna come?

Amy Winehouse is all of 24 and has emphysema.

Don’t smoke like a chimney and do drugs, kids.

I’m one to talk, I’ve started controlling my weight by mostly drinking a lot of coffee all day and then making beer my main source of calories.  BUT – Caffeine supposedly constricts the blood vessels that cause facial redness, so that should counter any gin blossoms that would otherwise develop.  Well, we’ll see how far I take it.

I like to sing.  I’m trying to do more of it.  This is a very rough demo: http://www.myspace.com/muffytepperman

I like to pursue boys that don’t like me, because I often have delusions of grandeur and think I’m everybody’s type.

It’s kind of fun having no shame

How are you?  Is there anybody out there?

Judging by the comments section it seems to depend on the person. I tested it on both Safari and Firefox to see if it was an issue of browser, but got the same result.

Um, yeah, definitely only saw the top five people whose pages I’ve visited recently. I’d be surprised if all of them were checking mine as well, but if they weeeeeeeeeerrrrre… then, I dunno, people are funny.

Addendum:
http://gawker.com/390136/gawker-kills-facebook-stalker-feature

The 20 Worst Foods in America

But, hey that’s pretty gross ANYWAY, THISTHIS is the one that really broke my heart:

Worst Mexican Entree
Chipotle Mexican Grilled Chicken Burrito
1,179 calories
47 g fat
125 g carbs
2,656 mg sodine.

Despite a reputation for using healthy, fresh ingredients, Chipotle’s menu is limited to football-size burritos, overstuffed tacos, and gigantic salads — all of which contribute to a humongous waistline.

In other news:

I’m cleansing again, and may I be bold and say that this would be my second SUCCESSFUL
cleanse (I’m nearing the end of day THREE, which is a vast improvement from the false starts I have experienced since the last one two years ago).

I have a crush It’s not founded on much, but it’s fun to have if nothing else.
(Did you buy that tone of Que Sera Sera? Well that’s what I was going for!)

I’m in a new band, and I finally came to practice with a song I wrote, and feel happy about that.

Yayyyyyyy for me?

We shall see.

Do I have an update? Hmmm, I’m not playing bass anymore, I’m now a back up singer, straight up, so I’ve resorted to bringing out Matthew and Gunner (dig my Nelson Twins reference) to the forefront when onstage.

I have gained and lost weight since my last post.

I am currently attempting a macro biotic/Eat Right 4 your blood type diet. It’s interesting, of course it doesn’t help that my office is currently a petri dish and I have a lousy cold that makes me wants to snorkel in a vat of soup.

I have determined through amateur diagnosis that I have a sulfite intolerance, and therefore need to be carefull of my intake of namely wine, and also instant mashed potatoes and dried apricots. (What else has a lot of sulfites, I’m going to wikipedia that right now)

I have also since developed and kicked an alcohol problem (okay okay, fingers crossed). Not nearly as often, like once, maybe twice a week, instead on thrice, maybe six times a night!

No ass, but you probably figured as much. I would like a crush. Could you work on that? Thanks!

co-worker sent around this post – she ends with “hearth”
someone bang her out already!

Reply to: pers-*****@craigslist.org
Date: 2007-09-25, 11:07AM EDT

What am I doing wrong?

Okay, I’m tired of beating around the bush. I’m a beautiful
(spectacularly beautiful) 25 year old girl. I’m articulate and classy.
I’m not from New York. I’m looking to get married to a guy who makes at
least half a million a year. I know how that sounds, but keep in mind
that a million a year is middle class in New York City, so I don’t think
I’m overreaching at all.

Are there any guys who make 500K or more on this board? Any wives? Could
you send me some tips? I dated a business man who makes average around
200 – 250. But that’s where I seem to hit a roadblock. 250,000 won’t get
me to central park west. I know a woman in my yoga class who was married
to an investment banker and lives in Tribeca, and she’s not as pretty as
I am, nor is she a great genius. So what is she doing right? How do I
get to her level?

Here are my questions specifically:

- Where do you single rich men hang out? Give me specifics- bars,
restaurants, gyms

-What are you looking for in a mate? Be honest guys, you won’t hurt my
feelings

-Is there an age range I should be targeting (I’m 25)?

- Why are some of the women living lavish lifestyles on the upper east
side so plain? I’ve seen really ‘plain jane’ boring types who have
nothing to offer married to incredibly wealthy guys. I’ve seen drop dead
gorgeous girls in singles bars in the east village. What’s the story
there?

- Jobs I should look out for? Everyone knows – lawyer, investment
banker, doctor. How much do those guys really make? And where do they
hang out? Where do the hedge fund guys hang out?

- How you decide marriage vs. just a girlfriend? I am looking for
MARRIAGE ONLY

Please hold your insults – I’m putting myself out there in an honest
way. Most beautiful women are superficial; at least I’m being up front
about it. I wouldn’t be searching for these kind of guys if I wasn’t
able to match them – in looks, culture, sophistication, and keeping a
nice home and hearth.

Before it used to be all David Bowie and Motley Crue, and now it’s this! What up the fuck!

Whatever, best wishes… Just makes me feel like a freak of nature.

I realized that I now have 3 celebrity testimonials reagring my singing ability.

Well, testimonials that were heard by my ears alone, but they happened, I swear.

1) Ted Leo – “That was great” – February 2006, after I performed at a works in progress thingamabobby.
2) Carl newman – “You have a great voice.” This was after his wife-to-be’s bachelorette, after I did my drunken rendition of “White Rabbit” so, maybe I should take it with a grain of salt, but I wasn’t completely TANKED, until the wedding, which brings me to 3…
3) Neko Case – “That was awesome.” This was immediately after I got off the stage, having done my SUPER DRUNKEN rendition of “Come Sail Away.” I had also done “Sweet Child O’ Mine” complete with Axl Rose hip grind, and uh, strapless dress coming down.

So what I’m trying to say is, I’m kind of a big deal.

Lets see, joined a gym, cus even my period jeans are tight :*(

My bed is uncomfy and I have terrible insomnia when I’m in the nueva york :*(

I’m feeling sorry for myself a lil, and all I wanna do it eat ICE CREAM!

WEEEEE!

Yup. Next saturday is my last shift at the old record store.

It’s freeing, but I feel sort of empty. My boss got fired and I was sort of given an out.

At least this way I get to see my niece-y poo before she turns 2

In other news – your favorite hypochondriac thought she contracted an unjust case
of oral herpes until she realized that it was not cold sores surrounding her mouth,
but little zits that stemmed from an unfortunate upper lip waxing.

So, I’m sticking to bleaching. Dude, I’m a fucking moron. One of these days
it’s gonna be the real thing. But seriously, you should have been there for the
“But I don’t even get any action, I don’t think I’ve kissed someone in over a year!”
mantra that was running through my head.

Oh, and my other dilemma, to bowflex or to gym membership –

Discuss.